After months spent sharing scotch on nights full of foul-mouthed banter, my good friend and bartender was weighing in his half of The Friend Conversation. You know the one: the life story, greatest fears, all-too-revealing conversation that results in the participants moving from social friends to real Friends, capital F. It was sort of a big deal.
Unfortunately, our bonding hit a little speed bump when he very casually, as if I'd always known, dropped the Jesus bomb on me. It was a shock. I was quite literally speechless. The silence just hung there like a cartoon anvil that was, although I didn't immediately realize it, falling toward my head. I stammered something about being glad it worked for him. He quickly assured me he was a "modern Christian", the nonjudgmental kind.
BAM!
I am a puff of smoke filmed from an ultra-high angle, as I realize the kind of shit you say to your favorite bartender.
***Disclaimer: Despite my well-documented lack of belief, said friend's choice of faith holds absolutely no bearing on my affection or respect for him, nor on my desire to be his friend. I care very much for this person and nothing he believes could change that. I'm not a total asshole.***
